She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
