I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
