nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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