you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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