dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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