dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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