I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
