I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize