i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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