We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
