There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
