I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
