neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
