You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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