Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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