I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize