you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
