McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
