office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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