We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
