You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
