So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
