Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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