if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
