I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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