I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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