The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
they need to just BURY HIM!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
