i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pooping to opera.
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