hell yes lets make some ravioli
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
