When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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