After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
