There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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