; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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