Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
