If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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