It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize