I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
