dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
