now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize