There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Randomize
