There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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