I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
