Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
