His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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