I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
