I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
