I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
