There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
