so explain again why im purple
no
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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