READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
