Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
