he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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