He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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