i just wanna soil my oats bro
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
