Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
