If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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