I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
