Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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