I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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