I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
